Sometimes It Hurts Instead
by LivinWasteland
Summary: AU ending for 5x22. Cas- centric. Character Death. Cas tries to piece things together after defeating Lucifer...oneshot mentions Dean/Cas and Sam/Cas


After Dean watched Sam fall into hell, Cas walked up to him and placed his hand on his head fixing all the bruising and cleaning up the blood. Cas helped him up to his feet,  
>"I'll find a way to bring him back, I'll help you two -"<br>"No Cas, it's over now. I don't want you to do anything." Dean limped a little back towards the driver's side of the Impala and got in. Cas popped in beside him,  
>"There's a way to bring him back, we just-" he cut Cas off again,<br>"No," Dean said keeping his face turned to the window, "It's over now Cas, the Apocalypse is over, I've done my part and so- so has Sam. We're through with this now. So get out." At this he turned to the angel with red tearful eyes not bothering to hide the pain.  
>"I don't understand Dean, don't you-" Cas started again.<br>Dean reached across the angel and opened the door, "Get out, Cas and don't let me see you again."  
>"But Dean I just-" he watched Dean wipe away some of the tears and let out a heavy sigh, "want to help."<br>"Cas just get o-!" Dean's voice started to raise but Cas slammed his lips against Dean's and felt Dean melt into the kiss beneath him; but then after mere seconds ,push him away.  
>"Just go ok, please." Dean said wiping his mouth and started the car, he sat there and waited until Cas shifted his way out of the seat and as quietly as possible closing the door, before he drove off, leaving Cas standing in the middle of the field alone.<p>

*2 years later*

**~I heard that you're settled down that you found a girl  
>and you're married now~<strong>

Cas stood in Dean's back yard, watching him rake the leaves into the pile and occasionally stopping to wipe the sweat running down his face. He saw Lisa coming out of the house with a bottle of water in hand, smiling as she walked up to Dean and kissed him.

**~I heard that your dreams came true guess she gave you things  
>I didn't give to you~<strong>

He watched while they held a small conversation and then Lisa kissed him once again, before going back inside. Cas continued to watch Dean as he scooped the leaves up and attempted to put them in the garbage bag beside him. Failing a couple of times he called out for Ben to come and help him, they too had meaningless small talk and a couple of laughs as he picked up the last of the leaves. Dean tied the bag and motioned to Ben to take it to the garbage and he laughed while the youngster struggled to drag the bag.  
>A car came around the corner blasting the song Dead or Alive, and the smile Dean held slowly diminished while the car's music got louder and then faded back to the suburb silence. Ben ran back to Dean who told him to go in the house and then Dean starting walking behind him and was almost to the front door when Cas decided to appear and call out to him.<p>

**~Old friend why are you so shy? Ain't like you to hold back  
>Or hide from the light~<strong>

Dean turned and stared as Cas walked up to him, but didn't speak. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and placed a kiss on his cheek then stepped back and smiled. Dean however didn't return the gesture he just stared at him, once soft eyes filled with anger.

**"I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over."** Cas said trying to figure out why Dean didn't smile back or at least be happy to see him.

"I told you I didn't want to see you anymore. I want nothing to do with you Cas." Dean opened the door and was half way in when Cas blurted out, "I missed you Dean."  
>With his back still turned Dean told Cas to go away, then walked in and slammed the door behind him and Cas listened to the click of the lock.<p>

_'Never mind  
>I'll find someone like you…'<em> Cas thought and disappeared.

*A couple of months later*

Cas went down into Hell, down into the Cage and brought Sam back,

**~You know how the time flies only yesterday  
>it was the time of our lives~<strong>

he helped him get back into the shape he once was, he spent countless nights watching over Sam, making sure nothing was too out of the ordinary.

**~We were born and raised in a summer haze, bound by the surprise  
>Of our glory days~<strong>

During the first couple of months Sam was like heaven all over again, he loved Cas the way he hadn't loved for a while. After they would make love he'd hold Cas like he wanted, like Dean use to. They'd stay up and watch the sun rise then start the day with the usual routines. One day Cas returned to the little room they'd rented to find Sam gone but he found a note with an address taped to the back of the door. He debated about going to look for him in fear that it would end the same way it had with Dean, but in the end he decided he had nothing to lose.

It took longer than he expected but he finally got to where he needed to go. He followed the address to a dark shack in the middle of the woods, he knocked on the door, a bald man came to door and asked what did he want to which Cas replied he was there to see Sam. The man stared for a minute and then went back inside and Sam appeared in the doorway,

"Hey." Cas said in search of something better to say.**"I hate to turn up out of the blue uninvited but I couldn't stay away, I couldn't fight it. I had hoped you'd see my face and that you'd be reminded that for me it isn't over."**

"Listen, I wanted to tell you that I'd found some family members and that I was gonna, you know stay with them for a while and um…hunt with them so…-"

_"Never mind I'll find someone like you…"_

Cas left Sam standing in the doorway, he went to heaven and sought out Raphael. He told Raphael that heaven was his on one condition.

"Are you sure of this, Castiel?" Raphael asked him one last time.

**"Nothing compares, no worries or cares,regrets and mistakes they are memories made. Who would have known how bittersweet this would taste?"** was all that Cas replied before he hung his head and waited.

*5 months later*

Sam and Dean stood in a field full of flatten trees and long dead grass looking down at the overturned red brown earth. Sam bent down and picked up a tape player out of the dirt and dusted it off.

"What do you think is on it?" Sam asked eyes beginning to fill with tears.  
>Dean shrugged and turned his back to Sam to hide his pained expression as Sam pressed play…<p>

**"Never mind  
>I'll find someone like you<br>I wish nothing but the best for you too  
>'Don't forget me,' I begged.<br>'I'll remember,' you said.  
>'Sometimes it lasts in love<br>But sometimes it hurts instead'…"**

The tape skipped then repeated the last words of Cas.

_**"Sometimes it lasts in love  
>But sometimes it hurts instead."<strong>_

_Thanks for reading the name of this song is "Someone like you" by Adele _

_It was a for a contest on DA, I didn't win but it was still a fun contest : )_

_Love, DP4L aka Livingwasteland_

_PS. This was written before this season(s7) : ( poor Cas _


End file.
